"Oh, honey, sometimes we all feel invisible," the nurse said as she patted my mother's hand in what I considered a condescending manner. "Now just take your pills."

Immediately, she hurried off to other residents.

"What did you mean by feeling invisible?" I asked my mother.

"When I call to a nurse for anything-a tissue, a drink or to go to the bathroom-they walk past me as if I don't exist, as if I am invisible."

"How does that make you feel when they seem as though they don't hear you?"
After a pause, she said "Sad. Just sad."

I believe that my mother speaks for the many. Why is it that people have begun to fear aging and frailty more than death? The government tells us that according to the Department of Health and Human Services;

The population 65 and over will increase from35 million in 2000 to 40 million in 2010 (a 15% increase) and then to 55 million in 2020 (a 36% increase for that decade). By 2030 there will be about 71.5 million older persons, almost twice their number in 2005. The 85+ population is projected to increase from 4.2 million in 2000 to 6.1 million in 2010 (40%) and then to 7.3 million in 2020 (44% for that decade).

How have we reached this place of fear of aging? Many times even the words we use can drive our thinking. The only time we use the word "put" in regards to a person, is when we "put Mom in a nursing home", or more recently we may now say "we had to put Dad in an Assisted Living." An infant my be put in their stroller or car seat but as that person grows they now are enrolled, registered, accepted, all more positive words. But once they are old will they then be "put" somewhere like a forgotten object on a shelve?

But just imagine a time when you are old and the focus is centered squarely on you and on the substance of your life. Just imagine a time when the quality of care is a given and quality of life is at the forefront. Imagine a day when the aged are no longer being put in a nursing home but are moving to a new community. Imagine a community where you are not known for your disease process but for your accomplishments.

Please Get To Know Me is offered as a window into the world of the aged as it offers insights, solutions and hope for aging with dignity and relevance.

My sincere thanks goes to Cecil Murphey who reached out a helping hand to an unknown nurse from Illinois with an idea.